I Love a Challenge!

While I was at the lake having my lovely vacation my phone had a rare moment of internet connectivity and I checked my email. Hmm, isn't that a strange thing to do. 

Well, I got a message that the lovely Tristi Pinkston was hosting another of Tristi's challenges!

Woohoo!

Well, I was excited see that email. I had signed up for one before, and then completely lost the site, I couldn't remember my goals, and it was just a complete bust!
This time I was determined to accomplish something and use this challenge to really do what I've been telling myself for the last year+ that I can.

So I signed up, bookmarked the page, and have been writing like a crazy girl, checking in and freaking out every time I hit another word count that I never thought I would make it to.

You know, I learned to speak positively to myself a long time ago, but telling myself something and really believing it is different, and a little tricky.
Now I can see it happening, and by golly I am eating that elephant, one bite at a time! Or in this guys case a giant strawberry larger than half your body, either way, it's goin' down baby!

My goals were to write 1,500 words 5 days a week with a total of 7,500 a week. So, far I've kept up or at least managed to catch up for each weeks goals and last week I hit 40,000 words! 

This week I've made it past 50,000!

I'm so excited!!!

I know it's only a first draft but this is my first first draft that's actually getting completed! And I'm freaking excited! I've already got plans for my first round of edits but I'm holding off till my last few chapters are written and I can officially say, "Why yes, of course I've written a book."

Freedom to Choose the Write!

Writing is a source of happiness for me. I am very grateful that as a country we are free to choose. That as Gods children we have a freedom that is born in us.

 I am not required to do what my husband wants me to. 

What the cashier at the grocery store wants me to,

 or even what my Mother believes and has taught me to do. 

It's up to me to choose happiness. 

I've never really been un-happy. Growing up I've been blessed with everything I need. I didn't grow up in a wealthy home but I had intelligent parents and lots of siblings who love each other and care about each others happiness. Today I'm living in my own home with my own family, who have what seems like a thousand needs I can't ever seem to fill. I worry day in and day out about their happiness and it's been draining my own reserves.

This is where writing comes in. When I found writing and started regularly practicing and making it a part of my own happiness it was a wonderful thing. Till it started to cause problems with the happiness of those I love. Problem is giving it up would be like giving up a part of my heart.

I did a lot of crying when I thought that was the direction I was headed and I'm still not certain I'm out of that zone. but today my husband is learning about this other love and today I am trying to share and control the effects it has on my life and because of the great freedom I've been blessed with I am free to choose the things that make me happy.

It's been a bit of a revelation learning that I can choose writing and my family won't fall apart. That caring for my creativity does not mean that my family is moved out of that number one spot. I still have to learn how to give time to all those I love but I'm choosing to keep writing in that circle. 

We've all had days when the world falls apart and sometimes weeks and years. I'm deciding that I hate that and I choose happiness. 

So, happy 4th!

And happy freedom to choose!

Choose whatever is right for you. 

I take great joy today in choosing to write!

This has been a message from your friendly chapter of the Insecure Writer's Support Group!

Write on friends!

Don't take no shortcuts

Wow, I knew this already but I've had a reminder lately that it takes a long time to write a novel. 

It's sometimes really weird to me that I'll get all excited and start making really good progress writing everyday and then look at what still needs to be done and I think, 

"Wow. This is gonna take forever."

I mentioned that to my fabulous friend Tamara once and her answer... "Yeah. it does." 

Well okay then.

 Buckle up cause were in this for the long haul :)

Hello My Insecure Buddies!

OK I had no idea that this even existed! I'm new to writing and have just started learning about this great and marvelous and terrifying process. I'm a little afraid to get into all my insecurities because that just opens a major can of worms... but whatever I'll try to keep it small for now.

I love writing, and I love my writing friends. Today I want to talk about how terrifying it is to read my writing in front of my lovely sweet and kind friends. 

.

.

.

Well, that's it really.

It's freaking terrifying to open myself up like that. I've only done it a couple of times and my heart falls down in my chest and I notice every minuscule mistake. I usually stop and offer some form of apology when they are noticed. Then I crawl in to a hole hoping nobody laughs or that somebody will. Please, please, please, let there be something positive that can be said about this strange in process piece of literature that I've just laid out before you. 

Aah, that actually is quite nice to say out loud. Much easier than reading my most recent piece of first draft fiction. I've been told we all feel that way but when somebody turns to you and says it looks like it's your turn. Forcing myself to swallow and say "Sure!" Is about the hardest thing I've ever done!

But we do, and we survive, and I've not known anyone to die during this rare form of self inflicted torture. And what do we get of this situation? better. We get better. At reading, at writing, at listening. Submitting to the open minds of our friends who've been there and want nothing more than to help you is one of the best things we can do for those gravel rough pieces of crumbling fiction, that want nothing more than to be cleaned up and discovered. 

I think we can help them with that. 

Going Healthy! Outside-out!

I've been loving writing! I write all day and I walk away saying, 

"Wow! I did something amazing today!" 

However, it only happens a couple times a week. 

See, when I step away from the computer it's usually onto a pair of soggy pants left in my room by my son, and around the corner lies half the contents of my daughters bedroom, and my dinner dishes are mingling in the kitchen, with the forgotten breakfast and lunch leftovers. Oops! 

Anyhow I've been thinking it's time to turn things inside out and make a plan to get it all done! Everyone I know has a plan, my books even need a plan, if I ever intend to get to the end. 

So, why not me.

Then my friend started posting about a Summer Ready Health Challenge. 

Not weight loss, just health. It even had a spiritual component.

 I loved the idea of getting ready for summer inside and out! 

I was totally in! And it started today. 

Whew! It's been a little crazy trying to remember how to be healthy!

On top of the body and spirit portion of the challenge, I've added mind. I've given myself a personal challenge of daily writing to go along with the rest of it!  Not all day daily writing but some, even if it's just a little. I'm so looking forward to the next 8 weeks! I'm planning to come out of this with some new healthy habits for my body and mind!

Really it's not such an inside out approach, but I'm taking what I've already got out there and I'm gonna use it if I have to turn myself inside-out, or right side-in, or "outside-out" as my little guy would say :) 

As a writer, how do you turn yourself inside out?

 You write! You write so many words they are spilling out your fingers, and over the bound edges of your books! Then you gather a few up, and keep writing till they're exactly where they're supposed to be! 

I'm super excited! 

Here's to summer of outside-out books and lives!

Fine I'll Read Another Book

So I love reading. Surprise :) 

My girls read and a couple have even been writing as well. (I so love this! When they read their work my chest puffs up and a batter from the world series couldn't knock the smile off my face.) 

Reading allows me to escape but writing swallows me whole. When I start writing I can't escape my story for days. My characters follow me around and every conversation inspires something. Unfortunately that inspiration can be less than focused and I usually get several new book ideas while listening to peoples own epiphanies, but, what's been strange for me, is when reading becomes work. 

I currently have a stack of books to read. Granted, much smaller than an editors, but way larger than I'm used to piling up and my rainy days are seriously lacking! So I've got to knock some of them out. Not to mention the fifteen million other things on my list such as, taxes, kid pick ups, kid drop offs, taxes (April is coming really fast this year), bills, dinner, lunch, breakfast, clean up from the previous three, etc. And, my kids like to imagine that some day I might stop and play with them! How dare they :) 

I don't know what people are talking about when they say that time flies! OK that's a lie, but how else am I supposed to justify sticking my kid in front of a video game or saying "Mommy will be down in a minute!" When I really mean a few hours, if I can escape the computer by then, and not have some other urgent to-do item come up. 

So what to do because the weather has taken a turn for the worse and I'm looking at some rainy days, and frankly I'd like to put the to-do list away, shove the stack of books behind the piano, and just write. 

The picture has no real tie to my post :) I just happen to love old bookstores, old bikes, the architecture. 

Well it looks kinda rainy, so there, I tied it in!

Movement for the hips, Makes time for the hands

I've been Zumba-ing like crazy lately and while it's made me feel incredibly busy all this week, today... 

all I want to do is write!!! 

All week I've been stressing over not being home long enough to brush my teeth and shower so today it's now 10 o'clock and I've barely tiptoed out of bed, but my laptop is looking pretty darn good!

My little people are cuddled in the bed with me and if you ask me it's shaping up to be a pretty darn good day!

So hurrah for all those busy, crazy, things we do! They wear us out and exhaust us but, maybe when that day off comes, it will mean more writing for you!

What are some of the things that keep you to way to busy! 

You know it's happened at least once!

Remembering why I love to write

I had a great day Saturday! I attended a writers workshop in NW Arkansas! Just a one day thing but it was just what I needed!

I'm remembering how much I love to write! It brings me joy to sit down and let a story spill out onto paper! 

 Marilyn Collins gave a fantastic talk on getting the most you can from a writers conference. She had great advice on networking with editors & agents. Because of her the next thing on my list to do is to practice a 25 word pitch. Haha! I've known for awhile that I should do this, at the last writers conference I went to I remember wracking my brain for a description of what the heck I'm writing. It either came out incredibly vague or I'd watch a glazed expression that I couldn't seem to fix as I went chapter by chapter through my whole book.  It was sad. So, I've decided the 25 word pitch is for me, and for everyone!
This will not happen to me again :)

 The sisterhood of the traveling pen was a fun portion as well. They did  dramatized version of the pros and cons of large and small press publication. Can't say I completely agreed with all of it but it was lots of fun and makes you think about what you really want to do with your book.

Before the conference was over I was digging out my laptop feeling inspired all over again!  After my last conference well I'm feeling like this is a huge improvement! What's crazy is I know this has nothing to do with the actual conference but entirely to do with me and where I'm at. Last time I was overwhelmed with the information, and the knowledge that when I got home I was expected to write a book! Me?! The only time I'd ever said that before was while hiding in the closet with my laptop, trying to escape the 5 whining little people outside the door. This time the classes were excellent and I value the information I received, but this time I was ready to be inspired!

So thank you to the North West Arkansas Writers Group I loved it!

I had a lovely day Doug Kelley gave an excellent talk on research, and I just love listening to Velda Brotherton speak. Her knowledge astounds me and I'm grateful she is so willing to share! Dusty Richards did writing 101 and we all know how important the basics are. Learning them helps make the real writing so much less scary!

Over all, I had a fantastic inspiring time at a conference I will definitely be returning to!

Where Do I Hide My Inspiration?

I'm sitting on the beaches of Kauai this week. Sand on my toes, and in my swimsuit :) waves washing over my feet and pulling the sand out from under me. Sunsets and sunrises I haven't taken the time to watch in years and all my friends (who know) certain I'll get inspired by the setting and write nonstop.

Hmm, frankly, writing still feels about the same as sitting on my couch at home.

Don't get me wrong it's gorgeous and I've written more here than I have in the last month at home. I just don't think inspiration works like that.

You can't go somewhere beautiful and ask it to inspire you. You may be inspired just as easily in a damp basement, as you would on a sunny beach.

My comfy bed at home has served my inspiration purposes quite well thus far, sitting cuddled in my blankets, laptop open, with a bowl of cauliflower at my side. It makes me smile and thinking about it sighs are almost involuntary.

So I was kind of worried when I told a friend that I was going to try and write while I was here and the first words you hear are "Ooo, I hope you'll be inspired!" Nice thoughts and good wishes, but not very realistic. (I really didn't tell that many people it's just that everyone said that or a variation thereof)

My story is not based in Hawaii, though I can't help imagining my little girls running around in the surf and hanging out in the local shops and towns, so, who knows maybe someday or some point there will be some tropical settings showing up in my books, but for now I'm sitting in front of palm trees towering above me at five times my height (I swear they're huge), ocean waves crashing against rocks that and unable to keep my husband off of them (yes, dear, I do think the waves will come up and sweep me off of them), and surrounded by flowers, and vegetation you can't find anywhere else, but when I turn on my computer I'm still writing about surviving dungeons, and trolls.

It's not any easier or harder than it is at home.

I still push through, but

here I have no responsibilities and no timelines.

So, it's been amazing but the real difference is no kids. Being a stay at home mom I never get a break from my work. It's not all hard back breaking labor, unless you count carrying a huge two year old around a Walmart Supercenter because he refuses to sit in the cart but if allowed to walk he will pull everything you pass off the shelves and into your cart. It's a long and never ending job. So, to find myself with this much time where I only have to enjoy myself, is a previously unrealized treasure!

Yes, I'm still excited to get home to my kids (I always know my vacation has been long enough when I actually start missing my kids), I haven't started on some newly island inspired book, but I'm trying to take advantage of every moment here to write and relax, and vowing to find ways to continue this process in my own home. That's got to be my new trick, finding un-disturbed writing time at home :) I'm just not sure how.

That causes only a little confusion, but with my newly vacation refreshed outlook on life I'm feeling up to the challenge!